Hello, World

So I've made it through the week alive and tomorrow's friday so I can rejoice. Even though I haven't been getting much work from classes, my schedule is still hectic as all-get-out, so I still come home exhausted. I've been having to take a nap every day after school and that is something I've never ever had to do before, so I think having so little contact in my classes with other people is really draining my energy. *sigh* but enough about me. Oh... wait, no, this is my blog and I'm allowed to rant on here. Nevermind.

Anyways, so Mabon is in 11 days and I'm not even sure what to do about it because I've been passed out like all week and I only just remembered about it now. (lol) No, seriously, like right now, as I was typing this. So... for obvious reasons my little tri-coven won't be getting together, since it was only me, my best friend and my ex-best friend... but I'm definitely going to have a bonfire. With smores. Maybe.

Yeah, that sounds good for now. I'll plan it later. For now, I write!

-Carling

The past week and my familiar's impending doom

Well I survived the first day of Junior year... although I think I'm going to have to drop an elective because not having a lunch is so very painful. My schedule's pretty hectic too. Oh, I saw my, er- ex-friend in the hallways and she still hasn't figured out that I don't want to be friends with her anymore, but I think she'll get the picture soon. And, Gods be praised, I have NO CLASSES with her!! *throws hands up in the air ecstatically*

So I have a long weekend off and I plan to enjoy every second of it! Last night was a full moon, so I listened to a ton of lovely wiccan music, most by Lisa Theil, who is an amazing singer, by the way, and I sat outside and stared at the moon for a long time with my black cat, Blackjack. It was a great day and I feel really refreshed this morning!

On a sad note, though, my mother who is allergic to cats seems hell-bent on getting rid of my wonderful familiar, who is truly the nicest cat you could ever hope to meet, and it's been almost a year of her threats to do this... this time though, she found a place near us willing to "take him in." It's terrible! For the past year everyone she meets she immediately tries to bargain my cat off to them! Right in front of me too! And I've had my cat for five years already, and he is seriously like my little baby! I can't even imagine what will happen once he's gone. My mother already gave my other cat, Hiver, away to my uncle in Illinois this past summer. I'm just so angry at her... and I've tried everything I could think of to persuade her to keep him, but she just won't listen to anybody else's opinion, even though the rest of my family all wants Blackjack to stay. *exsasperated sigh* What is a witch without her cat? A very lonely one, for sure.

So very much in so little time, Dr. Freeman

Okay, so I can't believe I actually did all this since a week and a half ago but I broke up with my boyfriend and told my best friend that I'm breaking off the relationship with my more charmless friend, and she was shocked because she thought it would always be the three of us, but she didn't know about ANYTHING the other friend had been doing to me, and understood why I was doing it after I told her about it. I also renovated my bedroom, which now has a lovely desk and I cleared out my closet which has become a proper witch's closet, broom, hat, cauldron and all. I'm also storing all my art supplies in there, lol. It's a BIG closet. Anyways, I just thought I should update this blog, even if nobody is reading it or anything, because, well, I guess it's more or less of a diary now. It's tons more easier to type crap out than to write it, anyways. Plus I can add pictures!

Oh, I also came up with a great new little side plot for one of my books, but I suppose I should be writing that in my OTHER blog.

I start school again tomorrow, and I guess I'm more or less grudgingly accepting it. I'm really looking foreword to my photography class, and my sculpture class, and also my creative writing class. Sheesh, I took so many electives though that I have no lunch period this year, but my English teacher last year assured us he'd let us eat in the creative writing class that I'm starting tomorrow, so I hope it's towards the middle of the day or else I'm gonna be really hungry. :/

Well, I guess I'll write a whole bunch tomorrow, in which, btw, I'm going to have to confront my -evil- friend, which should be interesting because we'll have tons of classes together. Could be crazy tomorrow. Oh well. Live for today, right?

Later, -Carling

Got the going back to school blues?

I do too... I'm definitely not looking forward to it... but hey, at least I'm going to have my drivers permit by then...! Not that I could drive a car to school even if I wanted to, but I guess it's something.

I'm just not really excited about seeing the same people again and again every day (most of which barely acknoledge my existence). It just gets old. It also gets annoying, once people start spreading rumors about you that don't ever seem to go away... I've got some nasty ones about me too. Apparently some people think I'm stuck up and that's why I don't usually talk to people out of my immediate freind circle (which is so infintessimally small it's not even funny; it's rather sad actually). Also there's one about me being a lesbian. Not true! My boyfriend can attest to that. People just assume that I like girls because they never see me with any guys in school. Why you ask? They're all completely immature. That's why I ended up dating a guy four years older than me, and even then he's still a bit immature at times. Suffice to say, he already graduated high school so he's never around me during the day. *boo* That's why people think I'm a lesbian. Also because one of my former frie-I mean leeches, who shall go unnamed tagged along with me so much people thought we were...*shiver* dating. Bleck. So now I have all these retarded rumors floating around my head for no good reason. At least I have my art to carry me through, eh? Even though I'm one of the best artists at my high school nobody seems to know I even like art. Weird, huh? I know...I don't get it either. I do have to admit I get a sort of rush every time somebody looks over my desk and says "Oh my god, did you draw that...!?". It's not really enough to get me through general adversity unscathed, though. ...Pity.

I also have this guy who keeps stalking me at school. The worst part is, we were in classes together since pre-school and I can remember him doing some pretty horrible stuff, but he doesn't remember me at all, and fell hopelessly in love with me last year. As I said before, I already have a boyfriend #1, #2, I don't really like him...plus he's not excatly adonnis if you get my drift. *Takes sharp inhalation of air and sighs* WHY is it that only the crazy people stalk me? Why can't I get stalked by a hot guy for once!? (Yup, I've been stalked before, too. Creepy, eh?) Anyways, I hope he forgot about me over the summer. I'd hate to break his little heart, y'know?

So remember how in school there was always that one guy who you were madly in love with but he had no clue you even existed? Same here. Sort of. He says hi to me in the halls and everything, but he's a year older than me and not in any of my classes, so I almost never see him. *cry* And I know, I know, I already have a boyfriend, so I shouldn't even be thinking about other guys, but... but... curse him! Why must he be so hot!? He's an artist like me, too, and he even plays the sax and takes french. Holy crap, right? I've known him since 6th grade... and I've crushed on him since then too. He's always been my 'what if' guy, and I've tried really hard to get him to notice me a bit more, but nothing seems to work out. It's like fate hates me. *boo* I love my boyfriend to death, but there's just something about my 'what if' guy that he doesn't have... and I get this feeling around him like metal drawn to a magnet. I guess I started going out with my current boyfriend because he's just...always been there, y'know? And we share tragic pasts (family matters gone awry). But I have this feeling it can't go on much longer... he, meanwhile, is obsessed with me in a great way, and the nicest guy I've ever met, but I just can't see me marrying him, and if I can't see that then why am I with him? I think he was always just a really, really good friend. ...With kissing. I don't know how I can break a heart made of gold! It' just so hard. I've thought about breaking up with him for half a year already but I just can't seem to do it! And he's clueless about how I feel. When I'm with him it's like, "I love you!" And when I'm alone it's like, "...but do I really?". Anyways, the whole situation is horrible. It's like one man presents a stable, fun relationship, and the other offers a whole new exciting world with all these awesome possibilities, and I guess one could say my relationship with my boyfriend has gotton stale, but only on my half of the biscuit, hear me? *headdesk*

So school.

Yeah.

Not looking forward to it.